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You Don’t Have to Be a Superhero – But You Are! written by Suzanne Henwood
Have you ever looked at other women and thought that they have got it all sorted? They just seem to have everything in order, life seems to constantly be on their side and everything goes right for them? And if you have – have you then compared them with yourself and thought you must be doing something wrong?
We all have stories to tell. Amazing stories of getting up after being knocked down, of resilience and bravery, yet we do not see the amazing things we do. Somehow we belittle ourselves in ways we would never dream of doing to others. In sharing some of my story, I want to encourage you to speak out and tell your own stories, to recognise just how much you do and how much you bring to others and how, if you just reframe your definition, you recognize that you are a superhero after all. To me a superhero is someone who gets back up and carries on – and keeps giving.
I moved from the UK to New Zealand in 2008. I moved to an organisation I had previously worked remotely with, so I thought I knew what I was walking into, yet I found myself in the most toxic of work environments that I had ever experienced. I am not going to go into the detail of that (which inevitably would be only my perception of what went on), but it is to highlight that I was (in my view) a strong, capable woman. I used to coach others and train people to cope in difficult work situations but nothing could have prepared me for being completely ignored and isolated by a few senior colleagues who undermined every aspect of my role and contribution. I very nearly broke, I even considered taking my own life as I found I could not see any way forward. Nothing I tried seemed to make any difference. I felt lost and at the end of my tether.
So how do you get out of such a hole? Two things happened to turn things around for me.
Firstly, I learned about mBraining and through that I learned to manage my own autonomic nervous system to moderate my reaction to the situation. This was probably a life saver for me and it was through learning about this new field that I went on to train to be a Master Trainer in mBraining. I established my own company (mBraining4Success) to be able to offer this life changing suite of tools to other successful, intelligent, capable women, so that they too can shine again.
Secondly, in another reorganisation at work I found myself under a different manager who treated me like a human being of value again.