RELATIONSHIPS: Dream Killers Part 2 | Great Health Guide
RELATIONSHIPS: Dream Killers Part 2

RELATIONSHIPS: Dream Killers Part 2

Emotionally Intelligent Kids Part 2’ by Dr Ash Nayate and published in Great Health Guide (September 2017). What is emotional intelligence and how do you raise an emotionally intelligent child? In Part 1 of this series, clinical neuropsychologist Dr Ash Nayate briefly addresses what emotional intelligence is and some tips on how to teach your child to be emotionally intelligent. In this article, she expands into two ideas to further promote emotional intelligence. The first is letting your children witness your mistakes therefore learning by example and the second is to cultivate positive habits such as the importance of gratitude. By practising emotional intelligence with your children, the doorway to a deeper level of understanding, bonding and connection with your kids can be opened.
Read other Relationship articles on Great Health Guide, a hub of expert-inspired resources empowering busy women to embody health beyond image … purpose beyond measure.

RELATIONSHIPS: Dream Killers Part 2 

written by Dr Matthew Anderson

What is a dream?

A dream is, your highest hope, biggest challenge, best possible outcome for your work, relationship and/or life.

There are two kinds of dream-killers. The internal killers and the external killers.  Both of them are dangerous to your aliveness and your consciousness. This article focuses on internal dream killers, who they are and how to handle them.

We all have internal dream killers and they are versions of their external siblings. They show up whenever we begin to entertain new possibilities or dream bigger dreams and they share characteristics similar to the External Dream Killers. Take a look at the list below:

  1. Beliefs, attitudes and perceptions that support and even create fears that block your path to self-expression and dream building. These thoughts validate fear and persuade you to accept and honor your fears.

  2. A too-small self-image.  About 95% of us (you included) grossly underestimate our potential. Then weusethis limited andfixed idea of ourselves to define who, what and how we can be or become. Sadly, most of us seldom question this life defining idea and we construct our work, relationships and dreams within the small box it places us in.

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  3. The trivialization of ourselves and our dreams.  These are thoughts and beliefs that convince us that we are not important. Who we are, what we want and what we could become, is essentially trivial and inconsequential.

  4. The lack of an internal cheerleader.  We listen so closely to the other internal dream killers. We ignore or even kill, our inner cheerleader.  This has tragic results because it deprives us of the energy that we need to follow through with ideas and beginning plans, for our hopes and dreams.

I invite you to take a look inside and see if you can identify any or all of the toxic voices that are described in the list above. Everyone has at least some. Assume that you have your share. Remember, awareness is the first step in significant change.


1. Identify them in detail.

Write them down. Make notes about the dream killing thoughts and beliefs and attitudes that plague your days and nights. Putting them down in black and white will give you some power over them. Then you can go on to the next step.

2. Confront them.

You can learn to confront your internal dream killers in the same way you deal with the external killers.  Imagine that your thoughts are separate entities that can be spoken to and tell them to SHUT UP!

3. Learn to think of your internal dream killers as abusive.

You will be better able to resist them.  The fact is – they are abusive. Left alone, without confrontation, they will damage or completely block your ability to explore and/or manifest your dreams. If you see them as abusive and destructive, then you will be more motivated to fight back when they begin to spread their poison in your mind.


1. Make a list of all the Internal Dream Killer thoughts that plague and poison your mind.

Describe them in detail.  Include after each one its effects on you and your motivation.

2. Begin a program of complete intolerance.

When your internal dream killers appear, attack them, tell them to SHUTUP and replace them with positive and encouraging thoughts and actions.

3. Find a cheerleader.

You may already have someone in your life who does this for you. If so, spend more time sharing your dreams and plans with them. Be sure to include concrete plans of action.

Spend today honoring and respecting your dreams.  The world needs you and what you have to share.

Author of this article:
Dr Matthew Anderson, Doctor of Ministry specializes in counselling. He has extensive training and experience in Gestalt and Jungian Psychology and has helped many people successfully navigate relationship issues. Dr Anderson has a best-selling book, ‘The Resurrection of Romance’ and he may be contacted via his website.

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Author Kathryn Dodd

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