RELATIONSHIPS: Building Your Love Part 2

‘Building Your Love Part 2’ by Martin Gladman published in Great Health Guide (Nov 2016). In the October issue of GHG magazine, Martin discussed the first five tips on how to build your love which is designed to support you to build and enjoy your love. In part 2, Martin wraps up the series with the final five. Read on to discover what they are.

Read other Relationship articles on Great Health Guide, a hub of expert-inspired resources empowering busy women to embody health beyond image … purpose beyond measure.

Relationships: Building Your Love Part 2

written by Martin Gladman

In the October issue of GHG^TM, we published the first half of our Top Ten Tips for Building Your Love, designed to support you to build and enjoy your love. In this edition, we wrap up the series with the final five; we trust you have been enjoying connecting to your own love over the last month.

The ways in which we can develop and build our love is endless, but at the heart of it, it requires us to lovingly commit to it every day, assuring that every step of the way holds us in the truth of who we are. This supports us to let go of any lies we might have bought into; the type of lies that say we’re not worth it, we don’t deserve it or that for some reason, love is just not possible for us. All bullock. 

The final 5 tips have been put together to support you to further build and get to know the quality of your own love.

6. Allow yourself to be loved.

Many of us struggle to genuinely love ourselves, let alone let someone else truly love and see who we are – yet we so deeply pine for other people to love and adore us! The best remedy for this is to start to take the time to love ourselves through building self-appreciation into our day, to not judge ourselves against ideas or images of how we should or shouldn’t be, just simply appreciate, choose love and let things unfold without attachment. Then, when someone comes along and sees all of who we are, it won’t be a shock or something we ‘need’; it will be a confirmation of what we already know and what we have already built.

7. Don’t restrict it to just one person, group or thing.

Love is not something that can be channelled or bound to one person or thing. Love has no boundaries or entry rights, it doesn’t hold one less or more than another, it simply loves and adores, equally. So what happens then when we choose to restrict our love to only one or a small group of people? Essentially, we cut ourselves off from the enormity of our love, restricting and making ourselves small. 

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Now this is not a plea for polygamy! Opening our hearts to all, does not mean we share our bodies with them, it just means we love them for who they are and what they are capable of. So connect to the things that you love in people, appreciate their quirks, including your own. Don’t restrict your love, let it be felt and seen by all.

8. Don’t get caught up in emotions.

True love is not a rollercoaster, it is steady, stable and strong. Love is forever holding and appreciating of who and what we are, it’s not an emotional turmoil. Many of us get caught up thinking that love needs to be this really big drama, so much so, that when we get offered the real thing, we struggle to accept it and let it in fully. Love is filled with joy, stillness, harmony and truth, all very beautiful and fulfilling things; it’s not filled with heart ache, pain, longing and guilt. Allow yourself to find joy in the mundane and watch how love steadily flows throughout each and every part of your life, not just in spurts, every now and then.

9. Make it a priority.

How many of us prioritise everything else other than being loving? We might prioritise watching a movie over going to bed despite our body telling us it’s time to rest; we might prioritise our children’s needs over our own or working that extra hour overtime when we could be out walking or connecting with friends or family. Building our love can start by simply choosing a quality of gentleness and respect and bringing it to all that we do, from the moment we wake to the moment we sleep – which includes washing our clothes and going to work because all these things support us! It’s very loving to do the chores. Make love your priority and watch how your love comes back to you.

10. Be love, don’t wait for it to come to you.

And lastly, tip number ten, be love. Live the love you are and the love you want to see in the world and make it unconditional, don’t wait for others to bring it to you, take the lead! Many of us wait for others to lead the way but this ultimately only leaves a world of people waiting, somebody has to step out and make the change, so why not let that be you? 

And that rounds up our Top Ten Tips for Building Your Love. If you missed the first round, go back to the previous edition of GHG^TM and check it out. At any time, we can start to build our love, so if you fall off the bandwagon, there’s no need to worry, just get back on! Choose your love in every moment and then watch it build overtime. 

Author of this article:

Martin Gladman is a social worker, counsellor, teacher and life coach working out of Melbourne. Victoria. Martin has had the pleasure of supporting people of all ages, backgrounds and genders to work through the many challenges which can prevent them from living truly joyful and vital lives. Martin can be contacted through his website.

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