‘Happiness: A Well-Adjusted Life Part 2’ by Ruane J. Lipkie published in Great Health Guide (July 2017). In part 1, psychologist Ruane explains what it means ‘to be happy’ and how to achieve that sense of happiness. However happiness isn’t the destination, it is in fact a product of effective life adjustment. In part two of the happiness article, she shares three empowering principles for you to help overcome challenges to be more positive and have a happier life.
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MINDSET: Happiness: A Well-Adjusted Life Part 2
written by Ruane J Lipkie
Happiness. That’s everyone’s goal regardless of whatever we do in life. Happiness is not a destination, in fact it is a by-product of effective life adjustment. What this means is that it is wise to accept that life has both ups and downs. It is important to take pleasure in the good things while being able to learn how to manage the disappointments as you try and find some positive meaning from your challenges. Ultimately, if your life has purpose and you establish desirable goals, then happiness will come to you as you attain these goals.
Here are three more principles that will empower you to be more positive and happy, when life’s challenges come your way.
1. Do you have unity?
Unity means that you are not torn between choices, that all your actions lead to the formation of a well-integrated personality and orderly thinking. If you choose to do something enjoy it. If you feel bad about it or that you shouldn’t take an action, then don’t it. For example, if you decide to eat a piece of chocolate cake then take pleasure in the experience. Don’t spend the whole time saying ‘I shouldn’t be eating this, I will need to diet tomorrow’.
2. Do you have balance?
Balance means that you do not wrap your entire life exclusively around one person or entity. For example, your family, your partner, one friend or your job. When balance is not maintained, this potentially sets you up to rely solely on one single support network.
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In a situation where you require support from others outside of that network, this can provide extreme challenges as no other options are available. Conversely, where one network is lost you could have other support networks via many interests and activities.
Remember to not lose your balance by attempting to please everyone. If you feel everyone must like and admire you or comment favourably about you, you will end up being unhappy. This is simply an unachievable goal.
3. Can you live with each problem in your life as it arises?
Sometime people spend time regretting and regressing i.e. wishing they had another opportunity or another chance. They say, ‘If only could live my life over again, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes’. This statement is true because a whole different set of mistakes would be made. It is easy to worry over the past and the future without even considering the present. Essentially, living in the past with regrets serves no purpose. This simply will not change the situation.
A better approach is to live in the present and deal with each challenge as it arises. How many times have you worried about something that may happen in the future and it never even occurred? A solution: as a problem arises, process a few possible solutions. Perhaps even talk to friends, family or a trained professional to help to work out the best option to move forward.
As you journey throughout life try to remember this little ditty. It may help you.
Author of this article:
Ruane J. Lipkie is a psychologist and offers psychology and counselling advice for a range of modern day challenges including clinical, developmental, emotional, educational and relationship concerns. Ruane may be contacted via her website.
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