‘Happiness: A Well-Adjusted Life Part 1’ by Ruane Lipkie published in Great Health Guide (June 2017). Everyone wants to be happy in their lives.The feeling of happiness is something that fulfill us with joy and positive emotions. So how do we achieve this sense of happiness? In this article, psychologist Ruane shares her thoughts on how to achieve a state of happiness by making some adjustments in our lives.
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MINDSET: Happiness: A Well-Adjusted Life Part 1
written by Ruane Lipkie
We often ask ourselves ‘what’s it all about’? ‘Why are we here and do we have a purpose’? ‘What does the future hold’?
There are many questions depending upon how introspective and/or inquisitive we are. It may also depend upon our individual circumstances. Research has shown that overall most people do not want too many complications, they just want to be happy.
So, what does ‘to be happy’ mean? It means effective life adjustment.
In the field of positive psychology and happiness, researchers suggest that a happy person is someone who experiences frequent positive emotions, such as joy, interest, pride, etc. and infrequent (though not absent) negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety and anger. Regardless of where you are on the happiness spectrum, each person has their own way of defining happiness. The key to happiness is to understand that happiness is not a destination we arrive at. It is a mode of living and our attitude to life.
The fact is, every single person experiences some disappointment, sadness and loss over the course of their lives. We all must face adversity – it is a natural part of life. The difference between happy and unhappy people is not the events in life that occur. The difference is in how we deal with the things that go wrong.
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We need to learn to accept life’s situations and to accept uncertainty as a natural part of living. The more we can do that, the more we can lean into happiness. Positive emotions do not indicate the absence of negative emotions. A ‘happy person’ experiences the spectrum of emotions just like anybody else. It could be that ‘happy people’ process experiences differently. They find meaning in a way others have not. In fact, using the phrase ‘a happy person’ is probably incorrect because it assumes that they are naturally happy or that positive things happen to them more often. Nobody is immune to life’s stressors, but the question is whether you see those stressors as moments of opposition or moments of opportunity.
Adapting the following principles within challenging situations, will empower you to be more positive and happy, when life’s challenges come your way.
TWO MAJOR PRINCIPLES ARE:
1. Do you have a zest for living?
Are you interested in increasing your knowledge and enriching yourself as a person? Being ambitious in life does not mean ambitious beyond your ability, interests and capacities. In fact, it is simply having hunger to grow. Also, being interested in the things around you, the people, the places and the events. Do you have hobbies or activities that you enjoy and do you share your life with others? These are just a few examples to help you
live life to the full.
2. Are you socially well-adjusted?
Social adjustment is imperative for good mental hygiene. What this means is, ‘are you able to be flexible’? Do you like to be in the company of other people and get along well with others or do you have your own way of doing things and think everyone else is wrong? Alternatively, are you able to be open minded to learn and hear what others are saying and adjust where necessary? It is important to be accommodating without surrendering your own values.
In next issue of Great Health Guide™, I will describe several more principles to follow, in a plan for effective, happy living. It will guide you on how to make positive adjustments to life’s challenges.
Author of this article:
Ruane J. Lipkie is a psychologist and offers psychology and counselling advice for a range of modern day challenges including clinical, developmental, emotional, educational and relationship concerns. Ruane may be contacted via her website.
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