Have you ever felt like you are in a mental rut caused by work? Perhaps you have noticed that other people at your work are also in a mental rut. Interestingly, have you noticed that often the people in charge at work usually appear to be confident, in control and never in a mental rut.
There is a reason that these people are on the top of the chain and often not in a mental rut. It is because they believe in themselves. They put the effort in to learn what it is they need to learn, whether that be professional or personally; they strive hard to achieve what it is they have. Most importantly their mindset is geared in a way that allows opportunity.
You may be sitting there thinking, ‘I do all that. I am confident, I work my hard, but still I keep getting put down, find myself with narcissistic bosses or neglected when it comes to promotions. I just feel like I’m in a mental rut’. If this is a recurring pattern, it means that you are the common denominator and there is conflict in your belief systems. Even if you think these beliefs are well hidden from others, they are not, which explains this kind of treatment. A little work on yourself, or perhaps a lot, can really change these patterns.
If you are feeling that, ‘it’s not my fault that these people keep coming into my life’, then stop and take a breath. Start taking responsibility for what is happening to you. It is far more satisfying to create the life you want, rather than allowing others to bully you or to be a victim.
Ask yourself a few simple questions:
1. When did this pattern of behaviour first start?
2. Why do I allow myself to be treated like this?
3. What am I doing to create this cycle of behaviour?
4. What can I do to create a better pattern?
Some of your answers may be quite confronting especially if you have never noticed that there is a pattern before. But this is positive. When we notice that something is not right and make the tough decision to do something about it, change happens. The change will not happen instantly since it takes time to create problems, but it takes more time to undo them.
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What can you do to help yourself?
1. Stop blaming others for a mental rut you find yourself in and start taking back control by changing your perspective.
2. Get some help, a therapist, a coach, or utilise your Employer Assistance Program (EAP) if you have one, or an independent corporation who oversees workplace and provides external advice and support.
3. Remember bullying is illegal and you can do something about it.
4. Set very clear boundaries with yourself regarding time, what you will and won’t do. Make sure you are working within the guidelines of your job description.
5. Work on believing in yourself again.
6. Do not leave your current work to start another job until you have started working on yourself, otherwise you will just find yourself in the same situation with different people.
Workplaces can have situations where you might feel that you are not good enough. Treat these situations as learning opportunities. If your skill set or level of care needs some fine-tuning, see it as constructive feedback, rather than as criticism. The only reason people stop growing and learning is because they become stubborn and set it their ways. Shift your mindset to opportunity and growth and just see what happens.
If you are reading this article and are feeling some strong emotions, then please do not ignore them. Talk to a friend, get some help, speak to your local doctor or a psychologist. There are even confidential online and phone counselling services available in many countries. Reach out and to talk to someone now. Choose not to be in a mental rut caused by work any longer.
Author of this article:
Leanne Allen (BA Psych), Is the principle psychologist at Reconnect Psychology Wellness Centre. Leanne has trained in Sandplay Therapy, NLP and CBT and has also just completed training as a life coach. Her approach is to look forward while releasing the trauma of the past. You may leave a comment on her Facebook page
