Written by Dr Suzanne Henwood
Have you ever struggled to put a difficult thought or painful memory into the past?
Have you woken up feeling the pain of the hurt as if it has just happened?
Have you even mourned for something, that in hindsight you realised didn’t even truly exist but instead you are mourning what you had hoped existed?
“To let go does not mean to get rid of.
To let go means to let be”.
You are not alone. Many people find it hard to move on from painful events. There are many potential reasons for this:
We are negatively wired, focusing on negative feelings, especially when they are strong and linked to our memories.
We can be more comfortable with what we know (even when it is uncomfortable) than something we are not familiar with.
We can hold on to a need for justice.
We may hold our hurt at an identity level, so that letting go may mean we don’t know who we are any more.