This article was taken from Issue 1 of our magazine. For more articles like this, please subscribe to the Great Health Guide magazine – (subscription FREE for limited time only)

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How to keep the passion in a long-term relationship written by Merie Burton

Over the next few issues of Great Health Guide, I will share some helpful tips and strategies that are based in the latest scientific research and designed to help lay the foundation for a more passionate and connected relationship.  

To begin the series, I want to talk about the power of our thoughts and in particular, on how to be mindful of what your thoughts are saying about you, your partner and your relationship. By being mindful in your relationship, you can set the tone for a happy and healthy relationship where romance and passion can flourish more naturally. One simple step towards mindfulness is to notice how you think about your partner and then how you speak to him and about him. 

“By being mindful in your relationship, you can set the tone for a happy and healthy relationship.”

Researchers have found that the ratio of positive to negative exchanges in happy couples is five to one. That means that there are five times as many positive interactions as there are negative ones. Couples tend to fall into a pattern of negative thoughts about each other without being conscious of it and then wonder why they feel distant and indifferent towards their partner. When you intentionally think positively about your partner, you actually create new neural pathways in your brain, which can subsequently change the way you feel about him. Sounds simple, but it is true; change the way you think about him and it will begin to change the way you feel and behave towards him. 

“Think positively about your partner… which can change the way you feel about him.”

This is not to say that you ignore things that need to be addressed, but when you start from a positive place in your mind, it will often lead to a more positive way of interacting with him. Researchers have found that happy couples begin their interactions with the intention of finding a solution to a problem. On the other hand, they have found that unhappy couples begin addressing an issue with a negative interaction such as criticism. 

Negative thoughts happen in the subconscious part of the brain but when you intentionally become mindful of your thoughts and notice what you’re thinking, you bring the thoughts to the conscious mind. You can make a choice about what you want to do with the thought and the subsequent behaviour.

These strategies work in relationships where there are no serious underlying issues.

If there are major issues within the relationship, it is important to seek professional help to deal with the issues first.

Begin moving towards a more passionate and fulfilling relationship today, spend some time each day choosing to think kind and generous thoughts about your partner. Remember that it works best if you have at least five positive thoughts to each negative one, then you will begin to notice that it changes the way you feel towards him. 

Live passionately.

Author of this article:

Merie Burton is a member of PACFA (Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia), registered psychotherapist and counsellor and works with individuals, couples and young people in her own counselling practice. Merie runs regular workshops on stress, anxiety, mindfulness and relationships at different locations throughout Brisbane and the Gold Coast. Check out her website and Facebook page: Merie Burton Psychotherapy and Counselling or contact Merie for an appointment on 0421990324

This article was taken from Issue 1 of our magazine. For more articles like this, please subscribe to the Great Health Guide magazine – (subscription FREE for limited time only)

or