‘Draw A Line In The Sand Part 2’ by Suzanne Henwood published in Great Health Guide (June 2016). In the previous article, Suzanne discussed the issue of bullying and how to recognise it. In her follow up article, she offers simple tools to help you say ‘no’ and actions to stop it from occurring.
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GREAT HEALTH: Draw A Line In The Sand Part 2
written by Suzanne Henwood
In the previous article we looked briefly at what bullying is and discussed some of the harsh and real impacts that it can have on people. In this and the following article, I want to share with you some simple tools to help you say ‘It is not OK’; ‘Enough is enough’; ‘I am worth more than this’.
If you are ready to walk away from bullying – once and for all, put these steps into practice. Make them become a habit so that you can start to build the life you want to lead.
Step 1 – Decide you want things to change NOW and declare it:
The first step is arriving at the point where you really want to change. If you accept that you cannot change other people’s behaviour, then the only control you have is to change something inside of you. What we know is that by making the change, to not accept bullying behaviour, you also change the system within which you live and work.
By saying it out loud, it will be processed in a different part of your brain and this helps to re-programme your Reticular Activating System (RAS) to move you towards a new future. The RAS acts like a filter that determines what you pay attention to and what to ignore. It’s like your own internal GPS, setting the direction for your life.
Step 2 – Create the question – what do you want?
Often when we are having a hard time, we focus on what we do not want – what we want to move away from. While this can be a useful initial form of motivation, an even more effective motivational tool, can be to find something you want so much that nothing will stop you driving towards it.
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So – what is it that you want? Write a question and say it to yourself daily, because saying this out loud every day, several times a day, will create a new neural pathway in your brain. Yes, it changes the structure of your brain, which is the most powerful thing you can do to move yourself beyond accepting the old way of being bullied.
Questions might be:
How many ways can I show people that I believe I am more than enough today? Think of specific ways that you can put this into action.
How can I compassionately stand up for myself in an appropriate way today?
How can I be authentically me today and know that I am valued and accepted?